Turn Toward
Can you recall a time you avoided something?
👉 Maybe an interaction, a thought, feeling, or experience?
Have you ever noticed yourself trying really hard to avoid it by…
👉 Hiding it or making up excuses? Defending, rejecting, denying, or ‘fixing’ a situation just to make it go away?
These are a few of the common ways in which we might be turning away from important messages that could help us deepen our relationship with ourselves & with others.
Avoidance strategies use a great deal of our precious energy — pushing things down & in.
But, it doesn’t have to be this way
We can learn to turn toward instead of away, which costs much less energy in the long run.
Turning toward is an invitation to welcome what is.
Welcoming ALL feelings, thoughts, & experiences so we can:
listen & learn more about ourselves & others
express what is coming to the surface
heal & restore what wants to be resolved
Eventually, with practice, we can feel confident to welcome what is, & to make the return back to a state of openness, curiosity, & clarity — our true nature.
AND... if we can turn toward the things we observe, we begin to explore our inner selves more profoundly, uncovering our hidden instincts, tactics, & wisdom that lie beneath the surface, helping us to identify & meet our current needs.
In essence, turning towards as opposed to turning away makes room & gives permission for our experiences to be expressed fully & authentically.
The bonus -----> It costs much less energy in the long run.
When we successfully process our bodily sensations, locked-up energy, stored stress, or stuck emotions in a safe & effective way (using skillful techniques & guidance) we grow our capacity to get with our feelings & other people's feelings without overwhelm.
Here's the thing though...
In order to meet & process these feelings, it’s important to have the time, space, & support, which is not always accessible to us.
There isn’t always a good time & place to turn toward highly-activating feelings or experiences.
Thankfully, when this happens, there are resources for us to safely set aside that experience or feeling & turn toward it at a later time.
It’s important to explore these feelings with time, patience, & special care as best we can. If we force through with urgency or lack adequate support, we can cause more harm than healing.
For the times when you aren’t in an appropriate environment, you’re short on time, & don’t feel well-resourced, we suggest practicing containment.
Here’s the idea:
When & if you find yourself in a distressing situation that you’d like to unpack at a later time, you can “put” the experience or event into a “container” & literally or symbolically close & store it until you’re ready.
Here’s how:
Imagine or actually use a container of any sort. Visualize or actually put anything you’d like to set aside for now into the container. Seal or close the container, put it in a safe place to return to. You can use a container with a lid & place written notes inside of it to return to at a better time, or your container can be a journal. Just make sure the act of closing the journal is meaningful & signifies closure until you’re able to tend to whatever is presenting itself.
💛 This practice of containment is meant to set you up for success when turning toward hard things. It highlights the importance of being resourced enough to process difficult events, experiences, & emotions.
💛 When done with love, care, & follow-through, we can build trust in ourselves that we will tend to whatever needs our attention when the time is right.
We’ll leave you with this:
There is no long-term way to avoid what we’ve been avoiding – it’s a short-term solution. Instead, we can turn toward, which is one of the many reasons The Process is so powerful.
Turning toward is the way back home to our authentic selves. Our systems will only regulate when we do the work to make the return back to our whole selves, & most importantly, feel safe & supported throughout the process.
Our mission is to provide a safe space for turning toward the hard things. Working with a skilled, experienced guide is one way to ensure that the right place, time, & support are there for you.
We hope to be that support for you.
Looking for more ways to connect and get support with this work?
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