Tolerance

Are you inside or outside your window of tolerance?

We all have our own unique tolerance, or ability, to navigate life’s ups & downs.

Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry, coined the term “Window of Tolerance" to refer to the optimal range of nervous system arousal for people to function safely & most effectively in everyday life when we’re not in any real danger. 

Our capacity to navigate life’s ups & downs changes depending on whether our zone is contracted or expanded. Our window of tolerance is either small or large, all depending on a variety of factors — trauma contracts the window, healing expands it.

When we’re within the limits of our window, we’re able to respond to life while staying regulated & in connection with ourselves & others, not engaging in survival states. This is where we can function optimally, easily moving through life's natural ebbs & flows.

When we find ourselves outside the limits of our window, we are in one of two survival responses:
1️⃣ Fight/Flight (hyper-arousal)
2️⃣ Freeze/Collapse (hypo-arousal)

These responses to life are born out of our survivalist nature & are prominent when we feel we’re in danger, or there’s a threat to our well-being.

Our life experiences shape our nervous system's health…

This can affect how resilient or flexible we are, as well as our ability to detect danger & safety.

An inflexible, non-resilient nervous system, shaped by past experiences & trauma, does not move through these survival states & back to safety with ease, & perceives present experiences through the lens of past experiences & trauma. Our responses aren't often appropriate for the moment, & we react / respond based on our histories. 

A well-functioning nervous system is able to move through these appropriate survival responses & states of being, according to our perception of safety, danger, or life threat within a given moment, & return to safety, within the window of tolerance, with ease. 

Here’s the good news for everyone:

We’re highly adaptable, resilient beings. Our present experiences continue to shape our nervous system, just as our past experiences did, so we can forever continue to expand our window of tolerance & nourish our nervous systems! 

We can change our nervous systems.
We can become more flexible and resilient.
We can learn to connect to safety more often.
We can increase our capacity to stay in our window or return to it with greater ease.

And with practice, all of this becomes easier and we begin to feel:
Open
Creative
Safe
Calm
Present
Connected

But how?

I’d love to leave you with these practices to help you return to your window of tolerance when you've lost contact with the above feelings. 

1️⃣ The next time you’re feeling hyper-aroused, above your window of tolerance, try: longer exhales; belly breathing; lying on the floor; being held; speaking softly; a weighted blanket; a warm beverage; your feet on the ground; or soothing music.

2️⃣ The next time you’re feeling hypo-aroused, beneath your window of tolerance, try: stimulating your senses; smelling invigorating scents; listening to upbeat music; speaking louder, faster, or in a higher pitch; moving; walking, jumping, dancing, or shaking your body.

Take a moment to reflect and notice what is present within your body after these practices.

Everyone is different & what works for you, might not work for others. What is universal though, is that healing and resilience is possible and we are dedicated to sharing what we have learned to support you along your journey towards embodied wholeness. 

Looking for more ways to connect and get support with this work?

1:1 Sessions with Me
Join The Process, our online 8-week group program
Practice with our On Demand Library
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