ATTUNE in Action (for our relationships)

In this week's edition of Thoughts on Thursdays, we're diving deeper into utilizing our trusted roadmap, ATTUNE, for navigating challenges within our relationships.

As we've explored previously, ATTUNE serves as a powerful tool in reclaiming wholeness, both individually & interpersonally.

ATTUNE for our Relationships

Understanding how to apply ATTUNE in our relationships is crucial. By engaging in this work, we create safe spaces for others to authentically express themselves, fostering a ripple effect of support & connection.

With ATTUNE as our guide, we have the opportunity to break free from unhealthy relational patterns & cultivate enriching, fulfilling connections that stand the test of time.

But before we get there... 
It's important to note that healing & growth are not always linear processes. While ATTUNE provides a roadmap, it's okay to meander through its components, combining practices & revisiting points along the way as needed.

ATTUNE in Action
Let's explore how each component of the acronym can guide us in fostering deeper connections & resolving conflicts. This framework takes on new dimensions in the context of interpersonal dynamics, though it's the same pathway that we follow for our self-processing, too! 


Awareness
Encouraging awareness involves inviting others to explore their experiences openly, fostering a deeper understanding of themselves & their emotions.
We can encourage others by using phrases like “What do you notice? Feel? Sense?”

Once all parties are aware of what is present, we move on to resourcing... 

Tolerance
Tolerance involves learning to expand our capacity for discomfort & understanding where others may be in their own emotional journey.
Are they feeling safe & able to socially engage? Are they hyper- or hypo-aroused? These questions can help us discern whether it's the right time to discuss certain things or if more support is needed. 

Once we are both feeling resourced enough, we can...

Turn towards others
Turning towards others requires creating space for their experiences without the need to immediately fix or resolve them, fostering a sense of validation.
This allows others to safely break the habit of avoidance & to begin processing the things that might have felt too overwhelming to face in the past.

Once the experience is processed & explored, we can move into...

Understanding
Understanding involves actively listening to other's needs & perspectives, cultivating empathy & connection.

So that we can move forward toward resolution with clarity and...

Nourish
Nourishing relationships entails offering experiences that help others in getting their needs met, from an authentic place, wherever & whenever possible. This helps to strengthen the bond of connection & mutual support.

Once we find options for getting both our needs met, we take the time to... 

Embody
Embodying authenticity allows us to thrive as our true selves while honoring the unique dynamics of each relationship. We can respect both our closeness & our distance; our connection & our space; our individuality & our bond.

Just like any skill, building fulfilling relationships takes time and practice. Through wholehearted connection, we unlock the potential for growth and fulfillment in all areas of our lives.

Lisa Messina